NYC 2026 - Week 5
East River, in Williamsburg
SHE’S ON A RISE!
After a week of being sick, lying in bed and feeling sorry for myself, I needed things to turn around. Not only was I feeling a bit under the weather, but the weather itself wasn’t great either. The days were grey and sometimes rainy. But luckily this week, things changed. Like bipolar even. All of a sudden it was 34°C for a few days! (That’s around 90°F for the Americans reading this). Oh yes, I could finally get some sun on my skin and take my summer dresses out of the closet. I did sweat my tits off, but no complaining here. I’m a summer lover.
With the weather turning around, my mood turned around too. Being here is not all fun and games, and at times it takes its toll on me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by this wild place and my body, mind, and soul go into hermit mode. Only this weather made it impossible to stay inside. So there I went again, walking the streets, feeling the sunshine and taking it all in. But what I saw on the streets left me with a lot of mixed feelings.
On the one hand: Yes, I absolutely love this place! I still shriek like a little girl every time I’m crossing roads and seeing all these tall buildings in Manhattan. I absolutely love that you can have everything you wish for here. I needed a place to sew and found a place where you can just walk in, use a machine and all the tools, and pay per hour. I needed some embroidery floss and found an arts and crafts place that sold all the colors I wished for. I travel so many miles per day, hopping from one end of the city to the other, popping out of the subway just a few blocks from my next adventure. Or I hop on a Citi Bike whenever I feel like doing some sightseeing. I put at least 20,000 steps in on an average day. If I get up at 9:30 am, I can still sign up for a yoga class at 10:00. When I feel the buzzing of the city is too much, I chill at one of the parks close to me. I sit there, I read, I watch people. I smile because I absolutely love the diversity of people roaming around. People who love to express themselves with fashion, with art, or with music.
On the other hand: No, this city isn’t all romance. There is a lot of poverty. Sometimes, it stinks of sewers, chemicals, and piss. I saw people using substances on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. I witnessed teenagers getting arrested in a violent way on a sunny afternoon. And yesterday, a dude lay down on the sidewalk, looking like he was having a seizure. The cop that witnessed it felt a stronger urge to film it first instead of helping the man. And when someone came to help, the man jumped up and said: "I need weed!"
The inside of a deli
SELF-DOUBT → SELF-LOVE
The thing is, everybody is just minding their own business here. Even though as an empath I would love to help these people, I’m learning there is only so much you can do. And that being of help isn’t always safe for yourself, so self-care and self-love have been high on the list here for sure. So I guess the cliché really applies here: take care of yourself first, and when your cup overflows, you can pour into someone else’s cup. I cannot give something I don’t have enough of myself.
Another thing about this city is: you have to know what you want (or at least what you don’t want). For someone like me who doubts herself a lot, for someone who has strong tendencies to dissociate, this is a great training. And I’m loving it. I am learning that whatever crazy impulse or desire I have, it is a possibility. When I make a choice, I have to fully trust that this is the right choice for me at that moment. I’m re-learning what I like and love, and this requires my full presence. Presence when I’m eating my food. Presence when I listen to music. Presence when I talk.
This city helps you to make your wildest dreams come true. I’m sure of it. It’s the power and magic of this place. Everyone here knows it. So I’m starting off small, like asking for things to eat that are not on the menu, to train this ‘possibility muscle’. With a low and insecure voice, I’ll ask the guy at the deli: “Can you make me a wrap with turkey, egg and avocado?” “Sure thing!” he replies. And so, this week, I sat down at the park, eating exactly what I wished for. It wasn’t the best wrap I've ever had, but now I know, and I can add to this whatever I want. What a blessing/luxury this is for a girl who loves eating, but doesn’t love cooking.
The view when sat down to eat lunch at Bryant Park
TOOT TOOT!
This week, I’m definitely tooting my own horn! I’ve completed my very first custom hand embroidery project for a friend (woohoo!), for whose trust I am so grateful. I have gone on date number two with a guy, which is already an accomplishment on my behalf. On top of that, I respected my own boundaries, and after feeling some insecurities because I had set them, I talked myself out of it by looking at the facts instead of making up stories in my head. Looking forward to date three this weekend.
It gets even better! I’m still on my sober quest here, feeling healthy and present, and it’s showing me I can be social and fun without a drop of alcohol. I even have enough energy to last longer into the evening than expected.
Wait, there is more! I’ve stepped onto the dance floor of an empty bar while some '00s classics were blasting out of the speakers. I danced like no one was watching, and laughed my ass off with my good friend M.
And then, the cherry on top of this beautiful cake will happen today. I’m so excited and nervous and in an ‘I can’t believe this is fucking happening’ kind of vibe. I answered the story of someone I’ve been following for a long time—a story where she asked for help with a sewing project. Not thinking I would get an answer, because she has like 45K followers, but I actually did. I put together a cute little workshop to do at her studio, and preparing this in its totality gave me so much new energy this week.
So I’m headed off now, already feeling so. fucking. grateful. And I’m already lining up more cute little projects for the next few weekends <3
Yes, my loves! It’s happening. I can feel it. I’m here for it. I’m so excited and can’t wait to tell you all about it next week!
With love,
Naomi/Numi
